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YC&AC, Sunday 15th February
It's that time again, doomseekers and sadists! When Scorchio pens another tale of what could have been and what nearly was for poor old Sala FC. A 3-2 defeat to YCAC was the bottom line this time.
BUT, I'm sure everyone is getting tired of all these hard luck stories. I know I certainly am, and I had to play in all the fargin matches (alert Oxford to the possible creation of a new word). However, there are a few possible ways around writing about another gloomy loss for Sala.
To start with, I could write this report about the first 70 minutes ONLY. Then it would ineed be a different story. No pain and misery, and an actual victory for Sala, plus 3 golden points on the board. Alas, footy is an 80 minute game (in the TML) and that version of events would, quite simply, not be true.
Or, I could just write about the time I nearly got married to a nubile bride in the Himalayan mountains of Nepal. THAT is a true story but irrelevant I fear.
Or, I could write about the delights of bobbing for apples with a group of naked lesbians (think about it for a second, my friends) but that wouldn't be scientific, as I have never done it and therefore I have no facts whatsoever relating to the matter.
So, it looks like we are buggered then! Truth, relevance and facts it is.
On to the doom, gloom and testicles in a vice then. Sala started with no Guido, Clarkey, Ian or Dave at the back, and Shige missing in midfield. So, it was a makeshift defence of Dan, Yusuke and Lenny that commenced the match. And, things began badly for them with Yusuke almost putting the ball into his own net when attempting to clear a cross in the first minute. Then, from the subsequent corner, YCAC nearly netted a quick opener, the ball floating across the goal and drifting inches wide of the far post. Thankfully, after that, the defence found their feet, and, actually, did a damn good job for the rest of the half.
So, what could Sala's midfielders and strikers do then?? Well, Pete (arguably the best player in the team) couldn't even turn up on time, so that didn't bode well for the rest of Sala's motley crew. However, Sala did start to take control of the game territorially and in possession, despite the fact that their short passing game was pretty rank. Shiva and Scotty being the main culprits. Having spent the previous Friday out all night together and up to their eye-balls in sin, it was a wonder that they didn't have a better understanding. Alas, why can nothing good ever come out of Roppongi!! Happily for them, tardy Pete and miraculously 100% fit Brookey passed the ball a lot better.
Sala's first real shot on target came from Sam, who was put through on the right by Toby, but the YCAC keeper made a good block, and Sala couldn't capitalise from the resultant corner. Booo hisss went the fans.
The first half was drawing to a close with both teams level, when Ian (stand in Captain in Guido's absence) produced a master stroke. He pulled down his trousers and stroked his........sorry, I jest! He brought young whippersnapper, Ryo, into the fray, and he immediately had an impact, sucking players in and taking the ball for mazy wee dribbles on the left. This was the kind of threat that Sala needed, and it bore fruit the next time Ryo collected the ball. Beating his man on the edge of the box, he cut in from the left and fired a shot towards the bottom corner. The keeper blocked it but somehow the ball zinged off his hands at a wacky angle and into the net. Hurrah went the fans!! Well, not the 20 or so home YCAC supporters. But the 6 Sala fans, who consisted of Sala legend, Brian Harlow, his wife, Akimi, their legion of 3 sprogs, and Shun's girlfriend all went ape. Fun for all the family.
1-0 Sala at halftime.
The second half was much more exciting, with no less than 4 goals.
Again, Sam was the first Sala player to have a shot on target, but one wonders how the game would have finished had Sam squared the ball earlier to a wide-open and umarked Stu, instead of shooting himself. This was a big chance that wasn't taken. Still, it's hard to knock strikers for shooting when that's what they're put out there to do.
And so it materialised that YCAC equalised a few minutes later, after Scotty and Shiva dealt with a goal kick in the most horrible way, gifting the ball to YCAC, who put their danger man, Yoshioka, through on goal. Sala keeper, Shun, hesitated then came, but all in all it was too late, and the YCAC striker deflty clipped the ball over him. 1-1.
True to recent improvements, Sala didn't spit the dummy and go into a funk. Instead, they took the game to YCAC, big Stu curling a shot just past the top corner, and Ryo nearly repeating his first half goal with a similar dribble and shot. Just desserts were served though when Sala struck again minutes later. Having earned a corner, Brookey swung in a great ball, which Pete met firmly with a nice header into the old onion bag. The goal was celebrated with extra enthusiasm due to Pete's recent return after almost a year out with injury. 2-1 Sala.
At this point, Sala should have shut up shop, but they didn't. A move to 4-4-2 would have been the wiser option, as would have some team members not partying until all hours of the morning the Friday before. Maybe then Sala would have had enough stamina to finish the job. And so it was, just like Arsenal (without quite so much flair it must be said) Sala totally blew their one goal lead in the last 10 minutes, and succumbed to a 2 goal blitz from YCAC's other danger man, Tyson, to lose spectularly 3-2. I would like to recant all that occurred in the two YCAC moves that led to their goals, but it's late and I can't be arsed. Plus, there's wine to be drunk and apples to be bobbed! Perhaps next week I shall write about those lesbos with facts in the bags, but until then, suffice to say, YCAC never gave up, Sala gave up a whole lot, and in the end the best team lost but the two best players won.
Team of the Match - Sala
Men of the Match - Tyson and Yoshioka
Best Newly Founded Word Not Used - Ridonculous
Report by Too Drunky
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