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Hachioji Park, Saturday 24th January
Unlike the first fixture where the Swiss were on the receiving end of a ‘six-of-the-best’ evisceration, this one was a considerably less merciless 3-1 spanking. The Swiss even took the lead early in the second half albeit against the run of play. From a speculative cross into the box in one of their rare forays upfield, the ball skidded off the slippery Hachioji turf and hit Ryo’s hand. There was even snow after the rain just before the sunshine in a bizarre fastforward of all four seasons in one morning. One of their twin towers upfront dispatched the penalty with aplomb but BFC didn’t look ruffled. Back to the drawing board and sure enough, it was even about five minutes later.
The gaffer had started with an uncharacteristic 3-5-2 formation that clicked uncharacteristically well, especially given that this was a Saturday morning kickoff which we all know by now BFC don’t do very well. Twenty minutes before the whistle and we were still missing Teppi, our beloved hobbit of a keeper (who was in Nippori, no idea how or why), two defenders (inexplicably AWOL and “the number you have just called…”), and a striker (Keisuke presumably still on his tuk tuk enroute from his den by the Shonan sea). We still managed to line up eleven slightly sluggish looking muppets but once the alcohol was shaken off, Evs and Taka came to life on the flanks alongside a new look midfield with new boy Brummie Mike and Papa Pabs providing great cover for the Paraguayan Maestro to strut his stuff in the hole farther up the park. It worked like clockwork for the first twenty minutes but the goal didn’t come. That clock was reset to a 4-4-2 but
that didn’t help either and so nil-nil it was at half time. Not unexpectedly, man of the day Alex Sahara (true to superstar status), rocked up very very fashionably late for his coup da grace. Though he didn’t sign off with his signature Torres-esque goal, he slotted effortlessly into midfield and put in a solid shift.
When the goal finally came, it was old school cross and header rather than the sexy new age Arsene Wenger bollocks we had been trying. Jon Day hit the byline before lifting the ball with almost frightful precision to Keisuke who leapt very high indeed to nod it with equal perfection into the lower left corner. Déjà vu? I remember those two combining to score a carbon copy in Keisuke’s debut in Misato last year. Telepathy is a beautiful thing to watch. The Swiss rearguard however were seen holding a court martial in the egg and beer place later on to establish why and how they left the Shonan Mercenary with so much time to load the gunpowder, cock his gun, take aim…etc. To be honest though, Case-K probably should have had one on target in the first half from a pinpoint Taka cross but he chose to go for power on the volley and screwing it wide.
Twenty minutes to go and those famous BFC attacking waves started lapping not so gently on the Swiss shore. Even the defence was pouring forward with more urgency but chances went begging as a frustrated Brian Doyle called out for someone to take charge and shoot. “Boys! You can’t score if you don’t shoot”, he screamed. How does he invent such brilliantly concise self-evident truths to impart on us every weekend? There was a flurry of corners but the deliveries were varied as they were erroneous. I think we tried four different kickers but none could quite deliver. Confidence was still high though and we all sensed the goal would come. No panic.
It did. A bit lucky maybe and a few of the Swiss were seething when the referee pointed to the spot. Taka (I think it was, not very sure) was caught as he turned his man in the box and went to ground perhaps too easily, but fact remains he was caught. Jon Day and Dr. Phil blushed and sheepishly looked away after the two penalty debacle a couple of weeks back (No, we haven’t forgotten and No, this is not the last you hear of it). The effects of his two-week romp in Vegas over the holidays were a bit too evident until then, but when it mattered, Carlos stepped up and did what is seemingly second nature to him. Carlos strolls up to the ball, Keeper flings himself the wrong way or maybe fearing injury gets out of the way, Carlos rolls ball into the empty net. 2-1 and effectively game over.
The third came in a bit of a surreal 4 seconds that it took the ref to look at his watch preparing to blow for time. Ref looks down, somebody dinks the ball over the Swiss defence, Ref looks up and puts whistle to mouth (I was standing next to him to answer your question), Brummie Mike runs onto the ball and gets there a microsecond before he is kungfued on the chest by the onrushing Swiss Keeper. The ref looks undecided whether to blow for time or call the foul when the ball breaks to Jon Day who is never undecided about tapping into an open goal. Jon poaches goal number nine for the season.
So we continue to chug along behind the front two in the league, or to use the words of our man in Cairo, Inshallah.
REBEL WITH A COURSE
Alex Sahara, he of purple designer hairbands and matching belts, has finally found a cause. The ‘too cool for school’ pup is trading in his Bose phones and pacifier for a toque. He is going down under to study something about cookery and (can’t remember the whole name of the course), though how they would let him anywhere near knives and other sharp objects, let alone food for public consumption, still baffles us. Ever since we scouted him from kindergarten, he has lit literally coloured our games (both BFC and the Vags) with his fashion sense, his (in)famous gems of quotes and his moments of brilliance in front of goal. Sad to see you go but happy for you and we wish you all the best. We also hope to catch your cameo on Al’s cooking program on cable sometime in the future.
Report by Para Mexico
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