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YC&AC, Sunday 11th January
BRASS MONKEYS
Once BFC had survived the warm-up there was only ever going to be one winner on a chilly evening in Yokohama when even the brass monkeys were wearing thermal underwear.
One or two tasty tackles from Clarke almost put two players out before the kickoff and for the first five minutes it looked as if BFC's players were still full of Christmas turkey, or nut cutlets in the case of Dr Lowes.
But once the champions had got a couple of sloppy passes out of their system and began to move through the gears it was only a matter of time before the opening goal came -- and it was a feel-good one (at least for the scorer).
If BFC have sometimes been guilty of dithering over their service from the wide areas, this was not one of those days, Clarke and Taka Imai, in particular, pinging in corkers all night under a beautiful full moon.
Taka it was who set up the breakthrough, whipping in a low cross for Himmer to smash home on the volley after 20 minutes. Pot pourri!
When the big man was wrestled to the ground in a move straight out of Hulk Hogan's repertoire soon afterwards, Lowes climbed Lazarus-like from his deck chair and marched towards the penalty spot, cool as a cucumber.
Normally 'money' from 12 yards, Lowes decided instead to reach for the pitching wedge, floomphing his shot over the bar, before burying his head in his hands Homer Simpson-like and screaming 'Doh!'
A let-off for the French, who decently gave away another peno moments later, when a defender tipped a powerful header from Evans over the bar with his hand and was sent for an early shower.
BONNET DE DOUCHE
Lowes turned his nose up and in stepped Day, who suddenly came across a bit Shevchenko, dollying it straight at Mignon, who almost fumbled it over the line anyway in the spirit of entente cordiale. Nice man.
1-0 as we went for our halftime Bovril then but the extra man would quickly tell for BFC.
These fixtures used to be very spicy and definitely not for the faint-hearted. This was a love-in by contrast, even when BFC added a second five minutes after the restart against France's 10 men, newly-wed Gentaro heading in another sweet cross from Taka.
Evans made it 3-0, stooping to head in a clever ball from Day before Wadsworth put down his Daily Mirror and pint of Watneys to volley in a fourth, and then go back to the racing pages.
So assured was Brummie Mike on his BFC debut, keeping things simple and tidying up impeccably in midfield that 'Papa' Pomares and Parayuagan playmaker Aranda were scarcely missed. Evans, meanwhile, looked like Paul Ince in the middle -- a pint of Guinness minus froth. The Kenyan 'guvna' is born.
LIVID
The fifth came midway through the second half, Clarke squaring from the right and Himmer stepping over it for Day, by this point livid he had not scored, to slide home from close range.
The sixth also had a touch of 'Frames circa 2007' about it, Clarke's deep cross headed back across goal by Himmer for Day to tuck the ball in under Mignon's nose.
There was still time for Lowes to whiff another effort over the bar, the way he shaped up and pirouetted through the volley looking for all the world as if he was auditioning for the Bolshoi. Legs like Nijinsky he has too.
Lowes was also 'fingered' by Morson (although not literally) after the skipper had gone on an 80-metre charge upfield -- presumably to keep warm -- only for the Son of Socrates to ignore him and pass to a French defender, doubtless after a fierce internal philosophical debate.
A good start to the year for the back-to-back TML champions and, while Hibs look unstoppable and have, with Benitez-like stroppiness, categorically stated they do not suffer from vertigo, stranger things have happened.
Report by Pinky and Diane
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